To Kill or Not to Kill?
by NJ7009
Summary: After Kira's demise, his supporters become angry. Angry to the point where they capture the one responsible for his death, Near. In possession of a Death Note, Near must make a choice. Use the Death Note to kill and become a murderer, a type of person he despises, but live; or die but remain happy in himself. Near one-shot. Rated T.


**I recently watched Death Note and loved it. I especially loved L and Near. So, I wrote this one-shot based on Near because I couldn't think of anything to write for L ;) Hope you like this anyways and I don't own Death Note. **

**Summary:** After Kira's demise, his supporters become angry. Angry to the point where they capture the one responsible for his death, Near. In possession of a Death Note, Near must make a choice. Use the Death Note to kill and become a murderer, a type of person he despises, but live; or die but remain happy in himself. Near one-shot.

To Kill or Not to Kill

I hate murderers. Always have and probably always will. Most people say that my hatred for those who kill is too large considering my age, but that is how it is. Why do I hate murderers? I hate them because to kill another is the most horrid thing you can do in my eyes; worse than stealing or sabotaging something. I may not hate those who kill out of defence or to protect something as much as those who do it for fun but, bottom line, I hate all kinds of murderers.

I think that is the reason I hate those who have captured me so much as they intend to kill me, meaning, they wish to murder and become murderers. The Bastards.

After Light got killed and the killings stopped, people began to question Kira's whereabouts and the amount of crimes grew at a shocking rate; each more serious than the former. Many people made pleas to try to get Kira to start killing again and in the end, myself, the SPK and the police had no choice but to reveal Kira's death.

The reaction was very much negative. Most people felt angered that their 'God' and 'Saviour' was gone and even those who previously hated Kira became angry in reaction to the news. Somehow, a few weeks later, news got out that an orphan from Wammy's house was responsible for the death of Kira and that led them to the successor of L; me, Nate River. Otherwise known as N or Near.

A group of ten supporters kidnapped me from SPK headquarters when I was alone and that brings us to now.

I am sitting (rather stereotypically) on a wooden chain in an old warehouse. A metal gag in my mouth and thick chains around my body. My wrists cuffed together and my ankles shackled to the legs of the chair. A thin fabric acts as a blindfold across my eyes, impairing my vision, but despite I am still able to see my captor's faces rather clearly. My anger boils at the sight of them.

"Are you sure this kid was the one to kill Kira?"

"Definitely. This is Nate River, L's successor."

The conversation ensues between two of my captors and I just sit, grinding my teeth against the gag, as my anger boils. I really hate murderers.

I shift my hand as much as I can with it being cuffed and I feel the Death Note inside my pocket. I stop grinding my teeth across the metal gag, partly because I am slowly getting tooth ache. After Light's passing, the SPK gained ownership of the Death Note and it was kept at headquarters. I was researching the notebook for any of secrets it could also possess when the captors infiltrated the building. I only had time to stuff it into my pocket before I was knocked in the head with a bat.

It hurt too.

Anyways, I knew, if I wished, I could make a deal with the Shinigami, Ryuk, right here and now and gain the Shinigami eyes. From there, I could write the names of my captors into the Death Note with my hands cuffed as my arms aren't tied to the chair. However, would I do it?

I don't know.

I'm scared. It is rare of me to feel scared as I am known for my calmness in most situations but I'm petrified. I'm angry at the murderers before me but my fear of death is also a very relevant emotion. If I were to kill my captors, I knew I would live but I would be a damned murderer. Something I hate more than anything. However, the thought of dying frightened me and I couldn't bear the thought of it; but I knew I would rather die a good person than a murderer.

So; should I become a murderer and live? or should I die but not be a murderer? Both were equally bad situations.

Then, I made my choice.

Death.

X-X-X

The captor put the gun to the back of my head and I breathed in to calm myself. My heart was wild but I kept my eyes closed. I had seen a few dead bodies in my life and I knew people looked much more peaceful in death with their eyes closed, even when everything else about them was smothered in blood. So, I closed my eyes. I told myself again and again that it would be over quickly and I wouldn't feel it. Despite my self-reassurances, nothing really helped in calming my nerves.

My captor said nothing as he held the gun. Didn't utter a word. Everything else in the room was silent too, like the world was awaiting the crash of the gun before it would liven up again. Like the world was awaiting my death. It probably was, considering everyone was angered about Kira.

After a while, a voice spoke, but it wasn't from the captor which was holding the gun. "This is Nate River. He is responsible for the death of our lord, Kira. We plan to kill this boy and avenge our leader." I narrowed my eyes as I realised that one of the captor's were filming this. My rage for murderers burned my throat, and I was desperate to say something. But the gag helped me to keep my mouth shut. "Sam, kill him."

I heard the captor behind me load his gun with bullets and I felt my breath hitch as my knees became weak and a strange feeling sprung in my stomach. I became tempted to write in the Death Note then, but I calmed myself. Everyone dies eventually... I will be okay in the afterlife... right?

My captor put the gun to my head again and keeping calm became even harder as my heart beated at an incredibly fast rate.

Death was right in front of me and I knew it. I could sense Ryak watching the scene and waiting for me to die so he could escort me to death. Such a frightening thought.

The man cocked the gun and I knew my time was up.

Four... I felt my palms sweat... Three... my heart rate rose... Two... I closed my eyes... One...

_BANG!_

I couldn't help but open my eyes as the ring of a gun sounded. My heart remained beating at a fast pace as I processed what had happened... I... I hadn't been shot?

A hand grasped my blindfold and yanked it clean from my face before the gag was also removed and before me, was none other than the SPK and just like that, I survived without becoming a murderer.

**A rushed ending but I hope you liked this one-shot anyways and please review :) **


End file.
